Common Tango Misconceptions

--By "misconceptions," I mean opinions that many people have that I have a counter-opinion to. These are meant to be controversial and hotly debated. Debate away!!--


MISCONCEPTION #1
I'm a woman. I can't ask a man to dance.

To be honest, I am still scared to ask someone I don't know well to dance, for fear of rejection. But over the years I've realized: BIG DEAL. Either they say yes, or they say no and you won't spend the next 2 months thinking "oh, but I could have..." or "if only...".

The dynamic for me certainly has changed, too, now that I ask people to dance (as a leader). It's actually much easier, because it's socially expected of you---or you'll never get to dance!

Also, this is why the mirada/cabeceo was invented!! The cabaceo is a way to "ask" someone to dance through eye contact. Now, more often than not, if there's someone in the room, I can just look them in the eye and if they catch it, I can indicate towards the dance floor. If they see my gaze and look away, they don't want to dance right now, and that's okay. I can often tell if someone's a good dancer or not by how well-practiced their cabaceo is.

MISCONCEPTION #2
If someone said "no" to me, I shouldn't ask them again.

This is mostly true, but if you've been taking classes, working on your dancing, going out a lot, etc...then they WILL notice you, and more likely than not, they'll probably WANT to dance with you. I, for instance, am MUCH more interested in dancing with beginners who have improved a LOT in the last couple of months than intermediate dancers who haven't improved at all in the past 2 years. I am always working on my own dancing, and if there's someone that I turned down a few months ago who is now showing considerable hard work and/or improvement, then I WANT TO DANCE WITH THEM! Also, it's much easier to get a "yes" out of a complete stranger if you ask pleasantly. Never stick out your hand. I always turned down hand-stuck-in-face invitations. You can chat with them, talk about the tango classes you've been taking...the weather...

VERY IMPORTANTLY, if you've ever had a case of bad breath, make a show of taking a breath mint or gum right before asking, and always have good hygiene...there is definitely someone who is a nice dancer that I can't dance with and will avoid at all costs just because of a past toxic experience (fumes blowing toward my head). If he ever popped a mint while asking me, though, I'll gratefully accept. Unfortunately, he has no idea why I won't dance with him. I can't bring myself to tell him!

But before you ask that person again, make sure you've made considerable improvement. This might take several months to a year. It might also help that you wait until the tanda is almost over. Then if they haven't seen your improvement yet, they won't feel like they have "too much to lose"



MISCONCEPTION #3
I don't need to work on technique. Tango is about having a good time and feeling your partner.

 Tango IS about having a good time and feeling your partner. And the music. And your body, and the floor, and everyone dancing around you. But technique can GIVE you freedom, because when you have balance and strength, you can pair the balance and strength with CHOICE. When you don't yet have the technique, you can definitely have a great time dancing---but your movements are confined to only the things you're capable of doing. Perhaps you can only turn on single time. Or you need to grab onto your partner for a boleo, and can only do it at a certain speed. Or you have ochos that come in one-size. When you realize, though, that you can widen your range of movements, you'll realize that there are so many more interesting, quirky, musical, and deep nuances in the dance you never before knew existed.

And yes, this is hard work, but it's worth it. I dare you to take a technique class and see if your tango improves.  And when you realize that extending your right leg while in a deep side step allowed your foot to catch your partner's foot, you'll understand what I'm talking about when you collect, together.

MISCONCEPTION #4
Musicality is completely subjective. Therefore, classes that focus on musicality are a waste of time.

At some point in my middle school, we had a visiting writer come in to speak to us about writing, and told us that the best way to learn how to write is reading. A LOT. Because all of these books around you will inspire you to write your own books. If you don't have any material to work off of, then you won't have any material to generate. Yes, it's true. Different people have different musicalities. Some people hear the violins more than the pianos, and there are people that I look out for when a certain orchestra comes on. But I feel that just like anything else where creativity is involved, you want to see what's out there, and what you create is even better.

If an instructor offers musicality, seize the opportunity. It's a difficult class for many dancers, but it can change your tango world. And sometimes you need to take it multiple times, or take musicality from multiple people. Sometimes I am almost tempted to name "musicality" as something else, like "eternal secrets of the divine tango," just to get people to come, and then learn musicality. This might be why not very many tango dancers take musicality; the title isn't compelling. People don't think it's important, but being musical is one of the most important things I look for in a tango partner.

Of course, you don't have to take a class, but you have to work hard nevertheless if you want to shorten the time in which you "become musical". Listen to songs on your own, and try to find something new in them you hadn't heard before last time. Try to be able to identify different orchestras. Experiment with dancing on the violin, or find speed contrasts you can play with within the songs.

MISCONCEPTION #5
I have to get better before going out.

NO! You can imagine me trying to pull out my hair at this one. When I first started out, I only took classes once a week for a month or two. When I found out there were events, I went. And nobody knew who I was, so I mostly sat and watched. And I learned a TON.

Then, everyone started noticing that I was out an awful lot, and that I was probably pretty into tango. They began to ask me to dance. And practicing what I learned in class, plus learning on the floor meant that I was improving much, much faster than I previously had been when I was only taking class. Of course, there's the danger of getting addicted, which I did. I spent about an average of 5-6 hours a day taking classes, practicing, youtubing, reading, thinking, dreaming...about tango. But the point is, go out. Meet up with fellow students from your class and practice what you learned at a practica. If you put in more time practicing what you learned in class, then you really got your money's worth.

This brings me to a question that some people might wonder about:
Do I really need to take classes to learn tango?

The answer is: No.

You can learn everything you need to learn on the dance floor. But it might take 10+ years to get where you can potentially get in 1 year. And you probably have to be pretty gifted. I know people who have barely taken any classes, and are quite good, but I am not one of those people. Within 15 months of learning tango, I had taken classes from 100+ tango instructors. And I'm still taking classes.

Here's a couple I'm really into right now. I'm in the audience, somewhere :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGhdvBkgLaw