"The Man is Clearly In Charge

....and the woman is actually in charge." -Jaimes.

This has become one of my favorite tango "quotes" in the last day or so, after I heard it for the second time yesterday and remembering hearing it several years ago. In Seattle (and maybe other places) so many women are way too passive. Come on, girls, where's the fun?

I've heard that some women here become "floppy noodles" and don't feel like they need to remember anything because, well, if the man leads it well, then I don't have to do anything, right? Wrong. Your dance partners WILL be able to tell if you are or aren't engaged in the dance.

Here are some tips to be more a part of the dance:

1) take charge of your own musicality. If you're going around in a turn, keep your timing and momentum. If you want to embellish, ALWAYS embellish musically. LEARN THE MUSIC!

2) If you did something that wasn't led, do it with conviction. By then you're already past the point of no return. If I did an ocho rather than a weight change, I'll dissociate extra (and push forward with my opposite rib) to signal to my partner that I'M THERE, are you there with me?. Since it's a conversation, chances are, he'll hear you.

3) When you're listening to him and he suggests something, pretend it was your idea to begin with. SAME GOES WITH MEN. If she did an ocho by accident, pretend that that was your intention!

4) Pick a predator. Something slinky. Something with attitude. Panther, snake, tigress...theses are all good choices. BE THE PANTHER! Seriously. I used to practice for at least an hour at a time being a different animal for each song (for both roles). Some animals I tried to become for a song were swan, chipmunk, bunny...and I had my partner guess each one. I even tried non-animals, like roller coasters, river, candle, and so on.

5) This one is a little more technical, but have a little bit of engagement in the core at all times. It helps information travel more efficiently back and forth between you and your partner.

Of course, it will get easier with time and practice when you feel more confident and develop better balance.