"Oh how wonderful!" My non-tango friends used to say, "you've really found a passion, something you care about!"
I agreed for a while, but then I thought about it more carefully. I didn't mean to get addicted, or so drawn in. I remember regrets of not going to certain classes or milongas, but I barely thought twice about brushing some of my non-tango friends off just to make it to a practica from beginning 'til end.
I could not stop thinking about dancing, and obsessively read, youtubed, and practiced tango. Those really were some of my happiest days. But I didn't care about anything outside of tango. When I first got a boyfriend after starting tango, I would only spend alone time with him if there was no tango. If I finally decided to let one night slide, I'd lament about it for weeks, thinking about the tango that I'd missed out that night. Looking back now, this obsession was very unhealthy.
But it did make me a better dancer.
But the better I got, the more I had to search to find that initial "high" I had during my first year of dancing. I had to travel more and more often. My "tango high" went from every single moment, to once a week, to sporadic-sometimes. Maybe that's why I especially enjoy chatting with those who "caught the tango bug" or are "addicted." I see myself in them, and get excited again and remember the "good 'ole days".
So is life better with the tango? Yes and no. No, because of non-tango events and friends that I've come to sacrifice because of it. Yes, because in tango, I've met some of the smartest, kindest, and most interesting people, some of whom I'm lucky enough to call my friends. I hang out, chat, and have a blast with them---even outside of the contexts of tango! Tango is wonderful. But it's NOT ONLY a dance. It's a way of life.
For the dance, the sacrifices I made may not have been worth it.
But for the people I've met in tango, tango was worth every single second.
Some of the musicians I've met in the professional setting tend to get a little cynical, and not enjoy the music as much. However, I cannot imagine that they got into music because they were in it for the money, or fame, or whatever -- it's because they got addicted to performance/teaching at first. For one reason or another, they've become unhappy doing what they used to love. Yet they keep doing it. . . why? It's probably because it's their livelihood and they don't believe they can or try to really do anything else.
ReplyDeleteMaybe constant re-evaluation of what you want out of Tango, like this blog post apparently is about, and taking actions to get what you want from Tango, is the key to prevent that tragic degeneration of "yummy-ness". I guess it wouldn't be so different than in a relationship with another human being, really. What I see, at least, is that people who get stuck in a repeating pattern they are unhappy with and either don't recognize it or refuse to get out of it, are the ones who end up cynical and unhappy.
Good luck in your Tangoing. It seems like you know what you want and are always trying to get it -- I don't see any problems with that. And finally, as far as Asian parents are concerned, my belief is that even if they can be inflexible, the relationship has no expiration date. You can spend minimal energy cultivating it, or even disappoint it, but the family members will always want to (even if grumbling) pick up wherever you left off, at any point in time.